POST IN PROGRESS / WORK IN PROGRESS.
I'm posting this as food for thoughts only. If I overcome my bloglazyness spell, I'll be finalizing this... shortly... Yeah.
Negotiating vs bargaining
This blog post will focus on deal negociations that involve multiple points of various importance to each parties (such as a series of contractual points). It does not cover "haggling" or "bargaining", which in my personal opinion implies a discussion around one or two points at the most(such as the price of the souvenir you want to buy during your exotic vacation), where either the stronger willed man wins, or where if both men haggle as much they end up both being unsatisfied.
My key concepts
The bottom line / The make or break
Clearly identify it. Have it confirmed by your management, so you know where you stand (this ensures you're covered).
Negotiating is chess
Define the points you can concede, the "pawns" that you can "sacrifice". Define the "make or breaks", the kings and queens that you cannot let go of.
The action plan and setting priorities
How and when will you bring up each points to be discussed. Hierarchize them. Which will be presented first, and last? And why? What are the interconections between each points? Will discussing one bring up another? Will conceding one bring up another? Will obtaining what you want on one open up an other attack path for the opposing party?
Empathy and 3 moves ahead
Chess again. Force yourself, before the actual meeting, to put yourself in the other party's shoes. This requires effort do be done correctly, especially when thinking several moves ahead.
The milestones
Understanding that negotiations are not set in a limited timeframe, no matter what is said or what the environment tends to lead you to believe (a business trip in a far away country to discuss specific points for example). Do not be time's hostage. Understand that negotiating is all about setting milestones.
If during one meeting I express discontent regarding a specific point, but do not discuss it further, I've just set a milestone. It'll be easier for me to get back to it next time.
Choosing your battles
See priorities and sacrificing pawns.
The fall back position
What is your fallback position if you need to retreat? Key concept in the chess playing: think of the most probably opposition(s) and your fallback position.
Ex:
- we want 100% exclusivity.
- not possible
- ok we want 100% exclusivity on sector B (where 100% of sector B is your actual priority).
It's often best to "let them come"
Assess when this is the case, and when it isn't.
Empathy, during the meet
Empathy : have the other party understand you understand his position. Have him believe it. Too many negociations are straightforward powers truggles, where ego quickly comes in. Aknowledging the other's opinion opens so many doors. We are no longer in an ego battle, we are now back in a rational discussion where each opinion is rationally assessed.
Negotiation... is 90% of preparation.
When we are at the tables, negotiating... either we are ready or we are not. If something comes up to which we do not have an answer, we do not reply. We will get back to them later.
Negotiation... is NOT a fight.
Never deal staggering blows (to deals or egos). Never ever deliver a blow that will leave your counterpart reeling, wincing...
If ever you have hard hitting facts or hard hitting comments to deliver, they need to be prepared and they need to be smoothly transitionned into.
Sure, you may feel like the king of the world when you're the tables bulldozer... but this type of attidude will always come back and bite you, short or long term. Hurt someone's ego and they will probably never forget it.
Take your time when replying. There is no rush.
When formulating an answer, take your time, breath, understand, then ...spend 10 to 15 seconds acknoweldging your counterpart's position. Convince him you understand his point of view.
The emotional aspect
The emotional aspect of a negotiation is absolutely key. No matter how the discussions went, all parties leaving the room must be happy and in good spirits. So even if you just put an end to a negotiation with an overpowered, overzealous and full of bad intention corporation who trie to have their laywers make you sign a deal with the devil, you need to show the other party sympathy and respect. Make them feel like there was no harm done, and leave the door open to future discussions.
The diving board analogy, applied to negociation
- FIRST climb the ladder ,
- THEN move ahead on the board,
- THEN dive
- and FINALLY, feel the water on your fingertips...
The importance of roles in (group) negociation
Make sure you predefine what your mask will be, and stick to it. Aknowledge there is some is some acting to negotiating. It's part of the game, especially when hierarchy is involved.
Body language
Make sure your body language (and eye language) do not convey agressivity, but open-mindness and cool laid back professionalism.
Negociating is like poker, you need to have a mask and make sure you and your emotions cannot be read.
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